by Lee W.
Truckers get paid for every mile they drive, so stopping during drivin time is not a profitable option. When yer on a tight schedule, ya grab some crackers and a Coke while getting fuel and get back out drivin as quickly as possible. Usually, when ya drink one Coke, ya gotta stop about 60 miles later and pee. The rule is, drink one, pee two...or at least it seems that way.
Most of the guys just stop and pee between the tractor and the trailer, safely hidden from view between the drive tires and the fuel tank. Not so for the ladies. The women usually pull off the road, sit on the edge of the bunk and pee into a Ziplock bag then zip it shut with he tissue inside and save it in a bucket until the next stop, then empty the bucket into a trash can.
One night my wife was drivin on I-40 in Arizona when a nice pretty Firebird T-Top started following a bit too close. Now, this idiot thought it kewl to sit in the left lane, just behind the trailer for miles and miles with his high beams on. Those lights in the mirror blind the trucker to what's in front, so my wife slowed down, sped up, and did everything she could to shake the Firebird. Even when she changed lanes, he moved left to keep his lights in her mirror.
If it had been me, I would'a gotten in front of him and locked up the trailer brakes to see if he liked the smell of burnin rubber, but it wasn't me. I recon my wife did the next best thing...she grabbed a baggie outta the bucket and chucked it out the window. As luck played a better part than aim, the baggie busted in the middle of his windshield and all that urine blew up and over the top to the open T-Top. As the driver was sprayed with 10 hour old urine and a wet Kleenex, panic musta set in. He nose-dived the Firebird and immediately exited the freeway!
That could not have worked better if it was in a movie script.